Flipping Fun

Not sure if this is exercise or child abuse but it was way too fun. I found something that my kids could really get behind.  We spent an hour tossing this tire around the backyard just coming up with different moves to make it fun.  I am so proud of my children for their efforts during our workout.  Yes he did take his shirt off to show off his muscles like his daddy........If a 6 year old can do it what is your excuse.....Get moving and flip something........

Be Free

  With all the focus on my workouts I wanted to take a second to talk about the why.  I have always been bigger than most people but in recent years I let my appetite out work my exercise.  I have ballooned up to over 500 pounds at my heaviest because of this trend.  I realized that if I wanted to be able to take my kids to a theme park or even to a park I had to do something.  So I make slow and steady adjustments everyday to be better.  I feel sad at times because my exercise takes me away from them more, but getting in shape will allow me freedoms that I don't have now........Today I do what I have to so tomorrow I can do what I want to.......Be Free.....

Feedback

   I am thinking about adding videos to my blogs.  I am start videoing some of my workouts for others to see.  I think this could be encouraging to normal people to see a regular guy doing real workouts. I know most of the people I have seen doing workouts look like they get paid to do them. I am looking for feed back on this topic for anyone that reads my blogs.  This is me trying to be interactive so let me know something please.........Never Quit........

Hurricane Run

   I am a little disturbed by my thoughts.  Now, I know some of you may be agreeing with me that I am disturbed, and thanks for that.  Last night we had a tropical storm move in to the area and take over.  Winds and rain pounded on the house and yard all night.  The storm is still visiting the community now with cycles of rain and heat o joy.  What worries me is the overwhelming desire to run in this weather.  I want to take off in the storm and be fueled by the wind and refreshed by the rain.  The joys of being a runner……….Here is to liking it wet……

snack isle

I just don't understand why the the fat foods created by those dirty girls Little Debbie and her friend Sara Lee look so tasty.  The healthy foods just look so plain and unappealing while sitting next to those stupid hookers.  I pay twice as much for healthy food and the packaging is so pitiful.  I get sad just looking at the wrappers and want to eat a chocolate doughnut to feel better. I know that choosing healthy is better but sure is harder sometimes.  Here is to the freedom of choice and just knowing better than to buy the junk anymore.  Say no to those smelly pirate hookers.........

Superhero

       Years ago while working with an amazing youth pastor in Tallahassee I had a chance to dress up like the Hulk for one of his sermons.  This was a cool night for me and one that I will never forget.  Now I have found the next race I plan to take part in.  It is called the "Superhero Scramble" and people dress up for the race.  I have been contemplating who to dress up like.  I would like to do the Hulk again but at my size it is kinda played out.  Oh my so many to chose from not sure who to be.  Who is your inner superhero?  Live life to the fullest.......

Why

Why do I want to change my life?  Has been the question that I have asked myself since the beginning.  The answer has been as changing as my weight.  The why is more important than the how in my life.  If the why is not important enough to make you tear up as you think about it you may to need revisit your reason.  Side note on the why it has to be different than the why not.  For example, if you want to loss weight for your kids but when it comes time to workout you feel guilty about spending time away from them you will fail.  Today decided what you are living for and go all out for it......

oh well....

  I have absolutely nothing to say today.  But I promised myself that I would write everyday.  I'm sorry if you got sucked in and expected more.  Make good choices.....

step by step

   One step at a time is how you climb a mountain.  The mountains in our lives vary from person to person.  Some days it varies from moment to moment, but we all have them.  Today I began changing my view on my runs.  I have been looking at them as a means to an end.  The walks were for me to lose weight and get in better shape.  Now both of these are important but the revelation I had today is that I needed more.  I had to find another reason to  push myself out of bed and on to the road.  I am a goal orientated person I need goals to survive.  I searched for a new race to run after my 5k in 16 days.  So I am so excited to prepare for the future.  I think I found the perfect race for me but it will not be like anything I have ever done before...... Be excited about your life and future or change so you are........

Confession

Confession time..... I ate 3 cupcakes with homemade icing and they were amazing.  I have beaten myself up over this adulterous affair with food.  They were so appealing to the eye that I could not resist the temptation.  They went down so fast and easy I hardly had time to taste them.  So I knocked out a couple of extra miles of walking for my penance of the deed......  Oh well here is to another day.......

Rearveiw

    GPS is one of the coolest things that I use on my phone.  I have multiple apps on my phone dedicated to my running.   I turn on the app that tracks my distance and speed in real time, well real enough time.  This morning I was feeling discouraged because I don't see any real changes over the last week or so.  Now I know I should see change and yes it is there but sometimes when you are in it seeing the change is hard.  To help me stay excited I pulled up my past routes with speed and time and compared them.  I am going father faster every-time I go out.  This is great news for me because it shows improvement.
    I think that I am going to check into the gps/heart monitor's that are flooding the running market.  Now that I like to venture out in all kinds of weather I am going to have to stop using my phone.  Can't afford to ruin the phone on the run.  So I think it is getting close to time for another adventure to the running store. 
    Looking at where you have came from can give you strength for where you are going..........

Mind

   I have 20 days left until my first 5k ever.  Today was my long day.  I did over 4 miles, but it was still a walking speed.  It takes me as long on 1 mile as some people to do their entire 5k.  During my walk I realized that I am scarred to run to much yet.  All I could think about was, "what if I got injured trying to jog."  I am scarred that I will fail to get my speed up any faster.  I get that may be hard to understand but it is a real thought I deal with everyday.   Our minds can make something seem real even if it is not.  Take a moment and clear your mind and push through to the future...........
   

Ride

    Today I got a mountain bike.  I don't see myself on any mountains anytime soon, but I am excited about the bike.  I must confess that I feel like a trained bear on a unicycle during intermission of the circus.  I was only missing the little vest and clown music playing in the background.  The bike feels like a low-rider with all my weight on it but it is still fun.  I am excited about the new option of training and my new adventures that will ensue.......

Strike Out

   It is funny how small things in life can give you big insight into your life.  With the changes in my workouts I have been spending more time in the gym and less time walking my dog shadow.  To me this has not been a problem but for her I see it is.  This morning as the front door was opened she took off down the street.  She ran the same route we would have walked.  Now I was the one who had to go get her and every time I got close she would take off again.  She finally stopped running and came to me when she was ready.  We walked back to the house while I calmed down.  When back home she laid down and took a nap and that's when it hit me.  She needs to be pushed just like I do.  When at the gym no one is there watching or pushing it is just me, but with our walks we are encouraging each other.  I know she is a dog and has no real since of this accountability but I do and that is what matters.  I dictate what is important in my life and to my future no one else can live it for me.  We let others decide for us how to live to many times.......Today it is to strike out on our own paths.......

Extreme Living

    I have been debating on a complete change of lifestyle here lately.  I have been considering becoming a vegetarian.  I looked at vegan but would have to give up cheese and well that is not happening.  Plus I really like leather belts and a couple of cows have to die for that habit.  Now I have thrown this idea out at multiple people to get reactions and no surprise people think I am crazy.  I really think it is sad that in our current society people can understand having major surgery to remove my stomach over someone becoming a vegetarian.  What does that really say about us?   Today be extreme chase after your desires.....

Notice Given

Eviction notice: served.  My fat is like a tenet that refuses to pay rent.  It is time for it to get gone.
   Now as much as I wish I could wake up in the morning and be 200 pounds lighter I don't for see that happening.  This deadbeat tenet did not move in over night it has taken a lifetime to get to this point but I am done.  I blame myself for letting it go so long but I have always lived in the mindset of it will get better.  It can only get better if and when I change so change is coming.  I know that losing 30 pounds over 2 months is good but I also know it would take less time to put on 60 so I push.  Notice has been given to everything in my life that is draining my future from me.  I will be free from fear.  I am fat not worthless.  I have allowed  stupid people's opinions to rule in my life for to long.
  It is easy to give in and be the same as I have always been, because it is comfortable and known.  I don't know what it will be like to not weigh as much as a Prius but I am excited about figuring it out.  I know most people may not struggle with food the same way I do but we all have those inner critics in our head taking trash.  So today it is time to give them notice they have to shape up or get out.....Notice has been served.......

Excuses

Excuses....... To many people live their lives based on excuses.  They can tell you every reason they did not do something when pressed.  Like a child being asked about not cleaning their room, people spit out reasons for failure.   I will admit that when someone explains themselves to me for no reason I quit listening.  At the end of the day the excuses don't matter at all.  We either do something or we don't but excuses are only to make us feel better about not doing it.  So my plan today is not to tell why but to show how to do.....

Distractions

   I have been sick for almost a week now it seems.  I have a tooth ache that has morphed into entire life ache.  I feel like there is a power ranger in my head doing spin kicks to my brain.  It hurts to try and focus, but the worst part is I have a hard time talking.  That is true punishment for me, because all the crazy things I think about are just stuck in my head.  Training is harder than normal due to the zapping of my energy from constant pain.  Feeling good is not an option but neither is taking a few days off so I look for little enjoyments to get me trough this pain and aggravation.
   Yesterday my sister and I went on a trail hike with our boys for an hour.  It was amazing to say the lest.  Then my amazing wife surprised me with a trip to a running store to pick up my race day shirts and car decals for my 5k in 26 days.  I refuse to let being sick rob me of my joy of training.  I keep reminding myself that the goal is larger than the obstacles to keep myself motivated to keep going.  Stay focused on long term to get through the short term distractions........

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day.....

          Today we celebrate the mom's in our lives.  I am very lucky to still have my mom in my life.  My mom has always been in my corner even if I was not on the winning side of the fight.  She encouraged me to be a better person by being just herself.  She is a survivor.  My mom is one of my heroes for her strength.  I know that I was not one of the easiest kids to raise some may say I can be down right difficult, but she always had control.  Sometimes it was with a word and others it was with a hand, but control was hers.  So today MOM I say I love you and Happy Mother's Day to an amazing woman.

Pain

    Change can cause pain.  Like a child gonig through a growth spurt change can be a stretching experience.  It will teach us things about ourselves we have not looked at before.  It requires use of new or seldom used muscles.  Pain is good though it proves we are still alive.  Today push through the pain and do something you have always wanted to do.  There is no time like now......

Update

    I am currently 30 days out from my 5k.  I was finally able to track down a store that I could walk out with a new pair of actual running shoes.  I have been meeting with my escort/trainer for 2 months now twice a week.  My eating habits have changed along with my exercise routines.  These changes have allowed me to lose 30 pounds in the 2 months.  I have lost over 20 inches in total.  I am nowhere close to were i want to be but I am moving forward.  So,"No thank-you," sweet smelling cupcake lady. I will not succumb to your alluring curves.  Take time to notice the small victories so you have something to lean on when it gets tough.....It is ok to keep score......

Try

   If you knew that no matter what you attempted you would not fail.  What would you try?
I spent the morning watching my little girl play a learning game.  She loves the game but it is a little advanced for her at times.  She gets upset when she cant do it and ask for help. Now I normally help her because what parent does not want to help their children.  This time though I let her do it on her own.  She got frustrated and wanted to quit but I encouraged her to keep doing it because it would get easier.
    When she finally did it herself she was so happy.  Sometimes we rob people of their chance for real growth by doing it for them. We need to fail to learn to push through the setbacks of life.  I know that she is smart enough and now so does she.  Don't quit keep pushing because next time it will be that much easier......Lesson Learned.........

Amazing

  It amazes me that it has been 2 months since I have eaten a McDonald's hamburger.  Yeah me for that feat but it has not been easy.  Luckily for me when my decision to stay away from my addiction the one closest to me closed down for remodeling.  I took this same time to do some remodeling of my own.  Now it was easy not to eat there when it was closed but now it is open again and the cravings are ridicules at times.  The only thing that is harder for me to resist is the HOT sign at krispy kreme.  My favorite meal at McD's is the double quarter-pounder super sized with sweat tea to drink and maybe a mcdouble and apple pies depending on the mood.  That is at least 1500 cal I would ingest at 1 sitting. OMG that is disturbing that means I would need to due around 45min of cardio on the elliptical just to burn it off.
   I can't believe what it takes to get that many calories off.  I am more aware of my intake and output now so that I can make better decisions for my future.  Now you know and knowing is half the battle.......Make good choices......

All I Want

   Want is a powerful word.  It can cause men to stray from their loving wives in the middle of the night.  Kids will give up their childhood because of it.  Want not only affects our lives it can take over everything.  Want is not good nor bad. It just is.  We determine the direction of our want.  That direction sets the foundation for you life.  Ask yourself these questions......What do I want? How bad do you want it? 
     These questions will determine the direction of your life.........

33 days

    I am 33 days away from my first ever 5k.  It is an event that I will forever cherish because it is a symbol of my future.  The anticipation of that day sits before me like the dawning of a new day after a rain storm.   The struggle is I still feel trapped in the rain.  A flood of fear and doubt pours down around me like a monsoon.  I suffer from self-doubt and even self-hatred at times, but I fight on.  It is ok to have the feelings I tell myself thinking they will fade after time, but like a STD they show up at the worst times possible.  The inner critic I hear telling me that I will fail buzzes in my head like a swarm of buzzards around a dying animal waiting on the end.  So instead of giving to the thoughts and allowing my dreams to die I push on, crawling, stumbling forward to my destiny and future.

   Thank-you to all that have chosen to follow along with me on this journey, my hope and prayer is at the end we are all a little better for the journey.

Dear Cupcake

Dear Cupcake:
        I want to officially tell you that we are no longer friends.  Please stop showing up at my house and job because it is becoming embarrassing.  Yes, I know I said I would always love you.  But, I never saw how destructive our relationship was.  Please understand, I have to move on or, we will be right back to where we were before.  Listen it is me not you.  I just need to be alone for awhile.  Maybe we can be friends again, but for now I am just to weak to resist you. It is because I love you so much that I have to stay away.   Our future will be different than our past.  So I hope you all the happiness.

  Truly Yours,
          Frank
           

You are a liar

    I stand before you like a man going into the confessional to bare his sins.  Naked I stand looking for absolution for my gluttony and indulgences of the flesh.  The pound of flesh that I have worked so hard to shed weighs on me like a yoke around my neck dragging me down.  So I step to you and brace myself for your revelation for my life, but no you lie and tell me I did not work hard enough.  You say that my fat is stronger than my desire but I say you lie.  You are like the girl who said she would always love me and then, well she knows and you know.  You are a liar and a cheat.  I would destroy you if not for my overwhelming desire to have your approval. Like a kid looking into the eyes of a disappointed parent I beg for understanding and forgiveness.  What do I get?  Help...NO.....Acceptance....NO
    I get the word of a lying cheater who steals my dreams. No more will I allow you to steal from me because I am not bound by your word anymore.  I am free and I will take it moment by moment until I reach my goals not dictated by your lying cheating counters........Scale You Can Bite Me.......Freedom of Life is Mine......

Be Gone

   I found a picture on Facebook one day that said "I wear all black when I run because its a funeral for my fat."  Some days it feels like the fat is having more of a scene from "Weekend at Bernie's" than a funeral but I push on.  I wish I could lay hands on my fat like a old school Smith Wigglesworth revival casting out the demon of fat that rides my back everyday.  So I slap my stomach one more time and start moving to the next obstacle in my life.  I am an over comer. I am winning the war with myself.  Everyday is a battle of will and determination....  So decide if today is a building block or a stumbling block.   Only you can decide.....

Rant

  After my morning of repentance for my eating habits in the iron confessional I bring an insight.  This is for the guy wearing spandex shorts because he read it would make him lift more.  Sir you have to stop talking and lift to get stronger.  I promise no one cares that you went to the thrift store and bought everything that looks like "Bodybuilding" equipment.  Look if you want to impress me by your lifts then lift don't tell me about them.  I know I am judgmental towards you guy but stop stealing my time and do what you are here for.  And no Clay Aiken is not workout music, thanks for asking.  Now I will tell you that I am impressed by your passion to lift but remember passion without work is just frustrating.......Stop being frustrated........Today Do Work.......  

Party for One

    I woke to an overwhelming feeling of dread and doubt.  Doubt can kill your future if you allow the roots to grow in your mind.  This doubt was causing me to become depressed and then the party started.  Anyone that knows me knows that I love a good party but this was a party for one.  My pity party was in full swing now with Alanis Morissette playing in the background of my mind.  There was slide show of my past playing on the walls reminding me that I am a failure.  Then like your mom walking in on you when you are trying to steal one more kiss from your first love it was over. My alarm went off reminding me it was time to workout.  My workouts are not just about the physical because we are more than just physical.  We have a mental and spiritual side to focus on while strengthening our bodies.  I grow stronger everyday and in all areas so that when the demons of my past come forward I have the strength of mind to hold firm to the future.....Remember that having the party is not bad but never letting it end is.....Be Strong In Every Area Of Your Life...........

Objective Truth

  I believe that our lives are based on a very objective truth.  This truth is the foundation of everything around us and it gives structure to our lives.  Sowing and reaping is one example of an objective truth in my life that is easy to see. If I sow hard work and right eating then; I will reap a healthy lifestyle.  If I sow fast-food; I reap fat which is evident by my current body shape(round).  The truth can not be changed only how you see it is.  So understand. Don't complain.  Start living....If you don't like what your reaping change what your sowing.....Know the Truth......